Are you feeling stuck and unsure how to move forward in your business? Are you feeling unsure of your ability to actually achieve the results that you’re dreaming of? As you know, negative self-talk can be harmful to your new business.
I’ve been there, trust me! This post explores these feelings, and how to move past them in order to get traction on your business once again.
Recently, I’ve been feeling a bit down about the progress of my business. And because this business is wrapped up in my self-identity, I’ve been struggling with my overall progress in life.
Comparison is the thief of joy they say, and in my experience, they are damn right! However, knowing this and acting differently are two completely separate things. In my last post, I discussed how to waste a bunch of time starting your business. I felt this way because, despite actually forming the company 4 months ago, I have yet to make any money in the business. This lack of progress is really demotivating, and I find myself caught between the rock of wanting to grow and the hard place of feeling hesitant to invest in the business to make that happen.
I also pride myself on being an avid learner and reader. My commutes are filled with youtube videos about business and podcasts related to the same. This in effect has brainwashed me to believe that business success is possible and served as inspiration on how to get there. But the flip side is that I am constantly comparing myself to these individuals. After the 5th story of the week detailing how someone younger than me managed to create a 7-figure business in 2 years, I start to really doubt my abilities.
I’m feeling jealous instead of inspired. As a student of success, I know that this attitude is toxic, and will do a lot to damage my ability to actually achieve my goals. This week I’ve really dived into Jim Rohn’s teachings, which you can watch for free on Youtube. If you’re feeling the same way, I recommend that you watch some of his timeless wisdom as well!
The Success of Today is a Result of the Last 3 Months
It’s easy to get down about your progress when you feel like every day is the same, and that you’re not really making any progress. It is important to realize that how successful you are doing today is not a result of what you did this morning. What you had for breakfast this morning had very little impact on how much money you made this afternoon.
In fact, success today is a result of the last 3-6 months of work and not your daily effort. So if you’re having an off day, take comfort in the fact that this really doesn’t matter in the long run. Being successful in life and business is the result of compounded small daily efforts compounded over a long time period.
So when you are feeling down, it is time to take a look at the actions that you’re doing on a daily basis.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein
The results will not be immediately evident, but taking the right action applied consistently will inevitably yield results.
Model Others and Follow their Process
The solution to feeling stuck is to stop being stuck. And the solution to being stuck is to model a successful process and stick to it consistently. Instead of measuring yourself on the sum total of your results, judge yourself instead of on how well you stuck to and implemented the process. But how do you know the right process?
Find a model from someone who has achieved exactly what you want to achieve as well. Do you want to flip houses? The interview a successful house flipper, or read their book, to find out exactly what they did along the way. The closer you can get to that person, the better off you will be. Offer to work for free! Or pay for their coaching and mentorship! Don’t be too scared to invest in yourself and your relationships, as these are what will propel you out of your rut.
Then, once you understand the model, stick to it! You can change it when you are successful with the original model.
Throughout the Entire Start-Up Phase, Don’t Sabotage Yourself with Negative Self-Talk
Now we have the framework for success. The greatest threat to your success at this point is you!
Whatever one man can do, another can do!
I don’t personally believe in the secret, wherein whatever bullshit you tell yourself just magically manifests itself in the real world. It isn’t that easy. But I’ll be the first to admit that there is vast power in what you tell yourself.
I don’t claim to know how it works, and maybe no one does. But I’ve met a lot of people who have achieved amazing things in their life simply because they truly believed that they deserved it. You need to get that power working for yourself. I’m not saying to chant affirmations every morning, but make sure that you are not filling your thoughts with things such as I’m not good enough; no one believes in me; this is too risky; this is too hard; I really don’t want to be financially free; etc.
These types of thought may or may not be true today, but if you keep telling yourself the same story they will be true tomorrow.
Steps to Break the Habit of Negative Self-Talk
If you’ve found yourself with a lack of self-confidence, realize that this did not happen overnight. You’ve developed bad habits over a long period of time, or maybe you never developed the confidence in the first place. Regardless, you need to change it. It is simple, but it isn’t easy.
First, recognize when your self-talk has become negative. Often times we accept this inner dialogue as fact because we fail to recognize when we’re doing it.
Next, simply write down the thoughts that you’re having. Try not to judge them or yourself for feeling this way. Simply recognize your behavior and put it on paper to see it more clearly.
Then reframe the negative thoughts. Is this thought really true? Might there be another way to view the situation?
“Life is happening for me, not to me!”
And finally, substitute the negative thoughts for positive ones. When you catch yourself saying the negative thought in the future that you wrote down earlier, remember the alternate story. Focus on that reframe instead.
This may feel forced and artificial at first, but over time you’ll start to believe your story. In the same way that you convinced yourself of the negative, you can convince yourself of the positive.
Jack Canfield has a great breakdown of 5 common types of negative self-talk here, and how to reframe them.
A Change of Perspective
What is really needed is a change of perspective. This year, I’ve been focusing on gratitude. Each and every morning I write down my goals, and right next to that I write down 3 things that I’m grateful for. Then, I take a moment, take a deep breath, and attempt to allow myself to feel grateful for those 3 items.
While that has helped to keep me on track and prevent the negative self-talk, it doesn’t always work so strongly. To reinforce the attitude of gratitude I’ve started the Benjamin Franklin method of recording 3 successes, 3 failures/learning lessons, and then writing down 3 things that will make the next day a success. This should help to reinforce the focus on the process and not the results.
I need to remember to be grateful that I even have the opportunity to pursue my dreams. I’m in good health, in a free country, with lots of resources and a strong support network. There is really no better time in history to be able to pursue business.
Remember that you are only a failure by comparison to others. This feeling is completely self-imposed and can be changed with a simple shift in perspective. Don’t let negative self-talk bring you down. Also remember that many would love to be in your position and that they are inspired by your courage and action, no matter how small it seems to you so far.
There is only success and learning. The only time that you fail is when you give up! If you’ve made it all the way to the end of this post thank you for allowing me to share my struggles and wax a bit of philosophy. Now I’m off to work my process for another day.
Until next time, to your success!
