For several years I had dreamed of getting accepted into a top-choice MBA program. I imagined the excitement I would feel as I headed off once again to a new location, in order to learn exciting new business concepts. This would be the start of my new career. And unlike my first career, this one would be filled with prestige, money, importance, and challenge.

The climb

I had spent several months in my apartment, alone studying for the GMAT. And I had done well! Traditional schooling was always a strong suit of mine. I ended up scoring in the 89th percentile world-wide for scores and just barely making the cutoff for my goal of a 700 score.

Next, I spent weeks carefully crafting my essays that would ultimately convince the admissions staff to let me join their exclusive program.

By far the hardest part of this process, mentally at least, was asking my manager at work to write a glowing review of me for business school. It is a funny thing to ask. “Hey, I don’t really see myself working here much longer. Would you help me leave?”

But in the end, she was extremely happy to help me in this process and agreed to help keep this on the down-low until the decision was final.

In the fall of 2018, I was invited to visit Cornell for an on-site interview. This was the only school that I applied to, and I was nervous about the interview. The campus and countryside were both rural and beautiful around the school. I also got a good vibe from the students there.

The decision

So after all of that hard work, I was very happy to receive confirmation that I was accepted to attend the school. Not only was I accepted, but I was being given a 30% scholarship.

I informed my manager who was extremely thrilled for me and wanted to know what my decision was going to be. And this is where things went downhill pretty fast.

In the admissions process, there are many steps that they make you take to ensure that you are committed to attending the school. They want you to make sure that you’ve really thought through the issues. Apparently, I hadn’t.

The issues

The more I thought about the prospect of business school, the more uncertain I became of the path. For starters, I already had a master’s degree. I spent nearly 8 years in school getting both a bachelors and masters of science. And I was really unhappy in my career. It was tough to tell if I was making the same mistake.

Second, the financials were terrible for the first 5 years or so. The total tuition and boarding costs were $90,000 for the one year program after the scholarship. Only recently due to real estate investing had I managed to get above 0 net worth. It was hard to think of going negative again for several more years.

Third, I already knew individuals that had MBAs, and from where I sat their work lives didn’t seem envious at all. Granted most of them went to small schools which don’t have as much value in the MBA market. My previous manager, however, had attained both a master of science and an MBA from Michigan State’s Ross, which is one of the best in the world. Their roles were mostly middle management in this large corporation. #cubiclelife

Fourth, I was concerned that the MBA process would further train me to think like an employee. My dream has always been to be a self-employed business person and business owner. None of the entrepreneurs that I admired, and certainly none of the ones that I knew, had ever obtained an MBA.

Finally, I wasn’t sure that the lifestyle of a highly paid corporate manager sounded very fulfilling. The hours are long, which makes it difficult to focus on investing in real estate and entrepreneurship. Traveling for days on end and working 70 hours a week doesn’t leave a lot of free time to pursue other more fulfilling results.

The rejection and plan

I struggled very intensely with this decision for over a month. Of course, in the end, I decided to turn down the offer. So many things seemed right to me about going at the time, but if everything was so great, why did this decision seem so hard. I thought often of Mark Manson’s Fuck Yes, or No principle. I also realized that if I went to school at that time, I would be compromising on my dream. The dream of an entrepreneur. One who doesn’t need fancy branding and six figures of student debt to create a life of freedom!

I’ve never once had a doubt about pursuing real estate investing, or trying small businesses. And so that is the plan for me going forward. It has taken me several months to write this post, as I sometimes have felt conflicted about my decision. But knowing that I made the best decision that I could for myself at the moment has been an opportunity for me to build a greater sense of self-trust.

I still work at that same job I had before. And while it isn’t very fulfilling for me at the moment, I’ve started moving forward with my dreams. I started writing this blog as a way to improve my writing skills and to help solve a need in the world. There is a lack of financial education which leaves many people stuck for far longer than they need to be.

I’ve also started my own company Green Sparrow Properties which focuses on fixing and flipping older homes and providing real estate agent services to the community. And finally, I’ve obtained my real estate license to help get my new company off the ground.

I wanted to write this post to let others struggling with a tough decision to know that they’re not alone. The message is to not compromise on your dreams. Keep putting one foot in front of the other in dedicated service to your vision. If you don’t become successful, you’ll at least be happy. Write below and let me know if you’ve ever struggled with a similar tough decision, and how you got through it. Be well!